I woke up yesterday morning ready to go to my dentist appointment where I would get 3 fillings in an appointment that would take 1 1/2 hours. Not only that, but I woke up with a quite swollen right eyelid. Apparently I have a stye. I hate that word. It sounds so gross. Now today the eye is even more swollen and I can't wear makeup and the dentist scratched my face and pinched my lip yesterday, so I am a mess! Also, I ended up staying in the town where my work is last night because the roads are all icy. It's been freezing raining all day and I might get stuck here again. Staying with friends is nice, but it's not like home, where you can get up nice and easy, do your hair and makeup, etc. Nope. This morning I barely blow-dried my hair and I wore my glasses, not to mention my complete lack of makeup at the start of the day. Then when I got to work, I got in big trouble with my bosses. I can't elaborate, but it's not good.
So, succinctly, I feel and look like crap.
This brings me back to the dentist's chair yesterday. I love that laughing gas they give you to help with the anxiety and uncomfortable drilling and shots. I love how, with just one big breath, I no longer care that it hurts. Everything is still there, I still feel all that is happening, I just don't care. I wish I had laughing gas for my whole life. That way when things started to hurt, I could just take a whiff off the ol' laughing gas and feel all better. Everything in my surroundings would just become an echo, a distant mumble.
But I know the truth. Life doesn't work that way. In order to love and grow, you have to feel the pain. You have to work through the bad days and enjoy the good ones. Laughing gas may make life painless, but it also makes it joyless. No, I can't give in to the easy way out. I'll experience the sadness, love the happiness, and take each day one step at a time.