Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Well, time flies and the years flash right before my eyes. Sounds like a good beginning to a poem. Maybe it will make an appearance on rooftop harmonies. Anyway, rooftop melodies is turning one year old tomorrow. I can't believe it's been so long. Then at the same time, it doesn't feel that long at all. At the same time as so much has changed, it seems like not much has changed at all.
Part of me feels like I should have done a massive giveaway and invited all my bloggy friends to a party and had fireworks and fanfare. But the other part of me remembers why I started this blog--I love to write. Also, I need an outlet for all the craziness that goes on inside my head on a daily basis. So I decided against the giant party, cool giveaway (sorry), and party favors.

Instead I decided to celebrate rooftop melodies' birthday with a little allergic reaction. That's right. I ate some super nasty food (note to self, "AVOID THE 'BEAR'S DEN AT ALL COST!'") at some middle-of-nowheresville restaurant on Sunday night and ever since my whole body has been itching continuously. It feels like a fiery, burning itch that comes from the inside. I have had to go to the bathroom at work and pretty much strip so I could scratch away. It's a good thing we have a one-person bathroom! It could be a little disturbing if there were other people there. And really, this isn't what I wanted to or was planning on writing about for the completion of my first blogging year, but I'm so consumed by this itch, that I can't really think about anything else. 

Well, I'm going to throw on my jammies and hop into bed and hopefully by the time our actual birthday rolls around tomorrow, I'll be itch free. Good night friends, and pass the hydrocortisone! 

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

esta es una novela

The sound of slamming doors resonates in my ears. Not real slamming doors, though, just the literal sound that the proverbial door would make as it slams shut in my face. I did this to myself, you know.

But that's how life is, right? You walk toward the door to see if it's the way you should go. If it stays open to let you pass through, then you know that was not a misstep. However, when the door closes, you look for another option. Unfortunately,  if you throw a little deception into the mix, add a few people--new and old--then shake it up really well, you will undoubtedly get a disastrous combination, which, when left to simmer, will always result in slamming doors.

I hate drama. Or so I like to say. I'm not sure if I believe myself, seeing as I always seem to end up with a double helping of it. I think I secretly crave the stuff...

Oh, and in other news, my mother was right. I really cannot be expected to expound on this topic, as it is just too harsh of a reality. Honestly, it needs some time to sink in. Even then, my pride may not be able to handle conversing about the subject. You know, he has a very volatile countenance, and can be agitated easily. If allowed, he will suffer unmitigatedly over the smallest things. He will lash out in his own defense as if it were the last and only thing he owned. Yes, my pride is an unruly little bugger. I think we should just leave him alone right now. Maybe we'll revisit this subject after he's had his Prozac.

Speaking of medication, I really should take my allergy meds. If I don't, my ears will snap, crackle, and pop as if they were enjoying a hearty helping of Rice Crispies. It makes wallowing in my misery all the more difficult while I'm attempting to sleep. I simply cannot be distracted by allergy ears when I have such important things going on!

I have a Bible study to lead tomorrow night. I was planning on studying it last night along with tonight. Unfortunately I changed my life from the Devotion channel to the all-night Super Novela channel, where we say and mean, "Mas drama que nunca!" But something inside of me insists that Bible study can only be good for me, especially right now. I'm going to give it a try. I had better prepare my pride first though, as he's sure to have his toes stepped upon. 

Saturday, May 8, 2010

six word saturday

Working now, then hopefully movie time!
It's been almost a year since I started my bloggy journey and a lot has changed. Jordan no longer lives next door. I miss his rooftop melodies that this blog was named for. I never had a chance to really talk to Jordan, but sometimes I dreamed of being his friend; of stretching out next to him on the roof adjacent to his apartment as he strummed softly on his guitar. I wish we had become friends. I think we would have had fun.

I don't cry very much now. Maybe I've moved on. Actually, I know I have. It hasn't been as much as I would have liked, but every step counts. I'm happy now. I have no complaints. I have many fears, but I know my life is good and I can't help but be thankful for the blessings I experience. Sometimes I even remind myself that it is possible to be thankful for the failures, too. See, I would never be who I am today were it not for my mistakes. Every misstep has impacted my life in such a way that I have to change. I have to see something new about myself every time I fall. I have learned that the world is not always good or kind, but this life is worth it.

I still struggle, don't get me wrong. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think, "Will I ever be in love? Is there somebody out there for me? Will I have the chance to have my own family?" It's all I've ever dreamed of, the only end I've ever strived for. I hope, but don't hold my breath. I know. That sounds over dramatic. Well, it might be, but there's no sense in holding out for something that may or may not happen. And heck, maybe my day will come, but it might not be for another 5 years. There's no need to live every day hoping for something that's still not on the horizon.

Now as my blog approaches it's first birthday I think of where I've been and how far I've come. Rooftop melodies will soon be moving from the window of my second story apartment to the window of my second floor room in a huge 5 bedroom house. Soon I'll stare out upon a yard full of grass and the sparse foliage that comes with a newer development. But the song won't change. So stay tuned. Spring is in full bloom and summer love is just around the corner. Oh, and I'll need you to help me celebrate rooftop melodies' first birthday.
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