Monday, August 31, 2009

totally awkward tuesday

So, this is probably the third or fourth time I have tried to write this post. But I decided to bring my computer to work today so I would have something to do on my lunch break. So here Iam, luing on m a blanket in the park, writing my awkward post.

Well, I have yet another uncomfortable work moment to report. Lately, a lot of people have been promoted to management. I try to get to know the ones who will be working in my department and even the other supervisors. Also, I have to help them with paperwork, get their picture taken, and make them an employee ID.

While getting to know one of these new employees, spouses came up in the conversation. he asked me if I was married, and I told him no. I said that he was married, though, right? Then I got way more information than I bargained for.

Here's pretty much the gist of the information that he gave me: He told me about how he got a girl prego when they were 16. They got married. They had 3 kids. They got divorced. He was 21. He was single for a while. He met another girl. They fell in love. They got married. They had yet another kid. He got fixed.

Yes. He did tell me he got fixed.

What's worse is that I was taking a sip of soda at that exact moment. I tried not to change my expression, but I'm sure my eyes got very wide as I tried not to choke on my beverage. I stifled laughter for about 2 more minutes, then found some reason to excuse myself from the room.

What's worse (and this is something I did not think of) is that one of my co-workers thinks that was his way of saying "Let's hook up." You know, why not? He's not going to be making any more babies!

I have since avoided him... There's just something disturbing about knowing that one of my coworkers has had a vasectomy and that he actually told me about it. I mean, really. TMI!!! Besides, if what my co-worker says is true, then I definitely don't want to send him the message that I'm interested.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

six word saturday

Well, here's how it goes. You write about your life in six words. Then you link to Show My Face. Then you put the little linkypicture at the bottom of your post. It's fun. Play along!

Here's my six words for today:

I'm glad my daddy is ok.

He's out of the hospital now and it wasn't another heart attack. So I am very happy. Also, we may still be having our girls' weekend! Yea!

Friday, August 28, 2009

free confession friday

So I'm back. Pretty much. I hope.

I've been away for a while, just because I've been sick/tired/distracted. But anyway, it's Friday. And I need to make a confession.

There are al ot of things I could confess (don't worry, I will later) but today, right now, I am quite distracted. That's because my dad is in the hospital. See, he had a heart attack 3 years ago. It was my senior year in college, I was working some 27 hours a week, failing classes, getting
behind... It was awful. I almost fell apart. Ok, maybe I did. It was one of the hardest times of our lives, I think.

Then tonight it happened again. My dad is only 53. He's too young to have a second heart attack. I'm too young to worry if my father will be there in 5 years or 1 year or next week. I can't go on without my daddy. I don't want to.

I got the call while I was driving home from work. It was the same as last time. Dad's having chest pain. They are running tests. Something about enzymes in his blood. Something's not right. I couldn't hear anymore. I don't really remember what Mom said. Everything kinda blurred after "Dad's in the hospital..."

By the time I finally got home, I was frantic, my hands and chest was going numb, and I was fighting to suck in the air I needed to breathe. I really think I had a panic attack. It took me a couple of hours to calm down. My shoulders are still so tense. But what can I do? I'll probably go up there tomorrow morning. Well, depending on the outcome of the tests. Maybe it's nothing and he'll be out of the hospital by tonight.

Anyway, I have calmed down quite a bit, mostly because of my roomies praying with me, praying myself, and remembering that God is in control. Even if things don't turn out how I think they should. God knows. Not to mention, I know that even if the worst does happen, I love my dad, he loves me, and this would never be the end. I'll always see my daddy again.
But here's the confession: I feel bad. Not for my dad (in this aspect) but for myself. That's because Mom and I had a girls' weekend planned for tomorrow and Sunday. Now it's not going to happen. So I feel guilty about feeling sorry for myself, but I really was looking forward to the weekend with Mom.

Oh well. There'll be other weekends to spend with Mom. Maybe this will be a Dad weekend.

Sunday, August 23, 2009


When I see you
I run out of words to say
I wouldn't leave you
Cuz you're that type of girl,
To make me stay...

The words drift out of the radio and into my ears.

You're so beautiful, so damn beautiful.

Catchy tune. Catchy lyrics. But are you stinking kidding me? This song is riduculous.

Can I be your baby father?
Girl I just wanna show you
that I love what you're doin' hun.

Can this song be serious? Is he actually insinuating that because some chic's legs look good while she's dancing in the club, he would never leave her and he would be the father of her children? What's wrong with this picture? But wait, there's more. The song goes on...

I'ma spend them grands on you
But after you undress
Not like a hooker
But more like a princess...

So what is beauty, then, according to Akon? Love? Sex? A "waistline that makes his soldier salute?" Gosh, screw beautiful then. I'd rather be ugly and be with an ugly man who doesn't expect me to stay perfect forever, because, heaven knows, things start sagging, wrinkles form, weight adds on and beauty doesn't last. And is this what guys mean when they tell me I'm beautiful? Is "beautiful" really just a synonym for "I wanna sleep with you"?

And where would one find love? Is it something you spot from across the club? Is it a booty you just can't keep your eyes off of? Well tell me then, what happens when my booty sags and gets fat!?! Am I no longer worthy of love? And seriously, does anybody really buy this crap?

This song makes me scared. I hope guys don't actually believe the garbage wrapped up in a catchy tune by a big star and a sexy music video. And if people really do believe this, no wonder that half of all marriages end in divorce. People have a seriously screwed up view of love in the first place. No surprises, then, that it doesn't pan out.

So comments... Is this for real? Are there people who actually believe this? Should I scar my face and wear mu-mus from now on so I don't become a victim of the "booty call that turns into marriage" mentality? What is wrong with this picture?

Saturday, August 8, 2009

six word saturday

So here goes. I'm describing my life, as of today, in a mere six words. You, too, can play along. Click on the link at the bottom to add your piece!

I'm going out tonight! fun, fun!

And here's a Spanish one, just for fun:

Tu me hiciste conocer el dolor.

Friday, August 7, 2009

free confession friday

So today I'm not making my own confession. I'm making it for someone else. But her story was so good I had to tell it. Names have been changed to protect the guilty...

So my friend, Kaylie, got really pissed off by her roommate. She, in her pissed off state, was just going about her normal business, when she saw said roomie's hair straightener in the bathroom. This gave her a devious idea. (Who knows where she came up with these things.) She grabbed some TP and dipped it in the toilet. Then she took the yucky toilet TP and nicely brushed the
hair straightener with it.
I saw Kaylie's roomie today. Her hair was straight, and I couldn't stop laughing.

Do you have a confession to make? Leave it in the comments!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

miradas perdidas

you stand in the hallway and stare at me
feigning interest in the jobs up for post
i glance in your direction
our eyes meet
i look away, pretending i do not care

but i do.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

oh God, I'm never having a child!


I don't know what got into me, but as I was laying here on my bed, I decided I would like to see what the birth of a child looked like. So I typed "vaginal birth" into and saw pretty much the most horrifying thing I've ever seen in my life. I can't imagine! No really, I can't.

I want to vomit.

I want a stiff drink.

I never want to poop out a potroast in front of 20 people and a video camera.

I probably want to have a family more than anything... some day.

I can't believe what mothers go through to have those little bundles of joy. And even though my face is frozen in an unending state of shock right now, I'm sure it's worth it... Possibly. Ten centimeters is very big. And my baby-daddy better not have big heads running in his family.

I should take a picture of my face right now. Seriously. Horror is the only word that can describe my state of mind currently. I am speechless in a not-so-speechless sort of way.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I totally cannot relate. That whole giant child-stuffed-into-woman's-abdomen just doesn't seem so appealing. But at the same time I am completely jealous. I want to have a family and children too! But the horror of childbirth is completely taking my breath away. Still. It's been a solid ten minutes since I saw the video and my mouth is still hanging open.

Mothers who are reading this, my hat's off to you. Maybe someday I'll join your rank. You are amazing. You went through all of that to have a whining, crying, ungrateful, wonderful, amazing, loving, little, big, 18-year commitment with never-ending bonds. I applaude and stand in awe of every single mother who goes through all that (and seriously, it's only the very, very beginning) and still does it all on her own, whether she wants to or not.

Wow. It's all I can say.

totally awkward tuesday

Grrr... Frustration. I just wrote about half of this post when I somehow highlighted the entire thing and erased it all. I was left with only an "n" to show for all the writing I had just done. I am currently very abnoyed (v. combo of the words abnoxious and annoyed, meaning to be annoyed greatly by something obnoxious).

Well, what I was saying is that my TAT actually happened today. I was thinking as the actual even was taking place that I really should blog about this for Totatally Awkward Tuesday. And then I ran, literally. But that's getting ahead of the story.

See, I had the day off of work today so my friend, Former Roomie, and I decided to go out. I drove to the cities (aka Twin Cities or Minneapolis/St. Paul) and met her in this nifty little neighborhood called Dinkytown. We went to this totally awesome restaurant, ate great food, caught up on eachother's lives, reverted to our goofy college roomie selves, got our leftovers to go, and set off to roam the streets.

Now as soon as we got out of the restaurant, Former Roomie and I realized that we both had to pee. Bad. FR got gum stuck on her purse by some jerk who left it sitting there, so she took the cloth napkin that was at her place setting to clean it off. As we were walking around the side of the building, I said to her, "I can't believe you stole their napkin to clean the gum off your purse."

"Oh well." she replied, "I gave that waiter a great tip, so it pretty much covers the cost of the napkin."

No sooner had she said that, but our waiter came out the back door. "Thanks." he called after us. And she really did give him a great tip, so I'm sure he was flabbergasted, but I'm also sure he heard our comments about the napkin stealing.

We couldn't go back to the restaurant to pee.

We wandered around. FR suggested we go to Subway. I suggested the Blockbuster. It was closer. She thought it would be too obvious. So we walked all the way to the building where Subway was. It was a building containing several different stores, only one of which was Subway. That was nice, because the restrooms were located in the hallway. That was not nice because the restrooms were locked and required that you ask for a key. FR didn't want to ask for the key. Neither did I. I knew we should have gone to Blockbuster.

We exited the Subway building.

There was a McDonald's right next to it, so we entered. It was very obvious that we were only using the restroom and not buying anything, but we didn't care. I especially had to pee by now. Forget about obviousness.

Thank God for two stalls in the restroom. As women always do, FR and I were talking from one stall to the other. I was about to make a comment about her stealing habit, when I first asked if we were the only ones in the room.

"I don't know. " said FR.

"No, you're not." came a voice from the sink/waiting line area.

FR was already done and hand-washing before I got out and so she left me with the mysterious bathroom lady still there. Let me tell you MBL was quite the Chatty Cathy.When I was flushing, she was talking. When I got out of the stall to wash my hands and she was saying something. As I turned on the water she kept talking. I wondered if she was talking to herself or to me. I threw a glance in the direction of her stall. I could see her pants bunched up all over the floor and her big ol' belt weighing the pile down. Gross. Who lets their clothes go on the nasty McD's bathroom floor?

She seemed to be talking about her kids. Something about them going to college. I didn't know what to do. She had been yammering on for a solid 2 minutes and I hadn't said anything. So, I replied. I think I asked if they were in college.

Then I hit the button on the air hand dryer. She continued talking. For the entire time the dryer was running. I didn't hear a single word she said, only the constant droan of her voice. By this time was I feeling really awkward and hoping that she wouldn't come out soon. Come to think of it, she had been in there a really long time. I wonder if she was chatting up a complete stranger while taking a poo in the Mickey Dee's b-room? Who does that?

The dryer finally stopped running. "...of my three girls one graduated from college. And it looks like only one of my two boys will graduate, but you do what you can..." She was still going strong.

"Well, I guess that's better than none." I said. Then I made a hasty exit! "FR! Let's go!" I fairly flew past the table where she was sitting.

"What? Why are you running?"

"That lady was talking my ear off. I don't want her to come out and see me and keep going. She was still talking when I left. Let's get out of here." We left McDonald's and pretty fast. Well, as fast as we could go in our 3-inch heels.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure none of that awkwardness would have happened if we had peed in Blockbuster restrooms.

Check out Tova's awkward moment of the week at Secret Life of Tova Darling. Until next time!
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