Monday, June 1, 2009

how long?

El amor es un error lamentable. 

It's true, love is an unfortunate mistake, and those who fall into its trap will spend the rest of their lives contemplating the many truths of that statement. Oh sure, there are the few who find true love right away, but the rest of us make mistake after  mistake after mistake. 

So now what? How do I forget? I have been so unsuccesful so far. When I think about it, I am just overwhelmed. How can I still feel so much loss? How can I still feel that I love him? After everything I've seen in him and hated, how do I still see so much that I loved? And how, HOW do I let go? How do I forget? When will it stop hurting?

I asked my mom those same questions. She said when I find someone new. Well, I guess that excludes forcing a new "someone" into your life, cuz that sure didn't help me. Now all I have are more platos rotos, bad memories. 

I don't know what to do anymore. I set a date and I knew that I would be ok after that date. I would still miss him, yes, but I would be ok. It wouldn't be such a big deal anymore. Well, that term of six months is fast approaching its completion date and I am still feeling the same things. Why can't I just get over this, Lord? What is the wrong thing that I am focusing on? 

Oh how I wish I had been one of the few. The few that makes the right choices and doesn't have regrets in the end... Of course, that breed of human is non-existent, isn't it? We all make mistakes; we all have regrets. Good thing the arms of the only one who understands me completely are still open to recieve me, even when the term is up and I am still broken. 

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