Saturday, June 13, 2009

funny stories from work

So I was thinking about all the guys who have hit on me at work. Alot of them are funny, so I decided to publish some of them on my blog. Here goes:
You-Will-Date-Me Guy
So this one guy, Curtis, came in. Since I work with all of these people and really, I work for them, you know, I have to help them. Also, I think its just good to be nice, and I like to joke around with people to keep things interesting. Apparently some guys totally interpret that as flirting, or coming on to them, or even that I am madly in love with them. Curtis is one of those guys.

I think it all started with me somehow offering to hook him up with some coffee. This prompted Curtis to buy me some chocolate from the cafeteria. I think that in his mind this meant that I was into him. He asked me where the picture of my boyfriend was on my desk. I don't have a boyfriend, but I told him that it wasn't there. The statement was true. There was no picture of my boyfriend on my desk, because there was no boyfriend. Curtis didn't need to know that. He expressed his dissappointment at the "fact" that I had a boyfriend and hoped that I would get rid of him.

I tried to ignore his advances, but he continued to come into the office. He told me I didn't want to be his girlfriend now, but I would. He pretty much told me that I would be his girl, like it or not. Ugh... TURNOFF!!! Wanna know another turnoff? How about the time he came in asking for the day off because he had to go to court to testify against his baby mama because she tried to kill him wiht a pair of scissors? OK, so now I totally do not want to get involved with Mr. Drama King. Finally one day he just tells me, "If you want me to leave you alone, I will. Just say the word." So I said the word.

He still likes me, I can tell. But he doesn't bother me anymore, and that's cool.

You're-as-Pretty-as-your-Gloves Guy

Being as our office space is relatively small, but has a heating/cooling system made for a large warehouse environment, the temperature control is very often far from comfortable. That is the reason why I have fingerless gloves. They are moderately ratty, pink and brown striped gloves. One particularly cold day in the office, I was wearing said gloves. This is the time Isaias told me that my gloves were very pretty. I, being the nice person that I am, said "thank you." To which he, in turn said, "Igual como tu." Translation: Same as you are. Wow, what a compliment. I am as pretty as my ratty, gross,, fingerless gloves.

But wait! There's more! Isaias has made other smooth comments to me. Like the time he asked me when I was going to take him out. I thought the guy was supposed to ask the girl out... I guess old times are over. He still claims that I owe him supper. He also said he's never been turned down. Hmmmm... Guess there's a first time for everything.

Married-But-Still-Hits-On-Me Guy

So this other guy, I don't even remember his name, comes in to the office to ask for help filling out a voluntary leave request. He tells me that his wife is graduating from high school. Yeah, you heard right--high school! That, of course, is beside the point. On my desk there is a picture of me kissing my nephew. This prompts a lot of men to ask if that is my kid. Understandable. Then they procede to ask if I have kids. I say no. They ask why not. I say because there are no good guys. Well, this is exactly what happened with married guy. Only he kept pushing the "you should have kids" thing. He asks my name, my age, if I have a boyfriend, why I don't have a boyfriend... I'm not sure if this is flirting, but it seems strangely suspicious to me...

You-Know-What-I-Want Guy

Yet another married man... well, he at least has a girlfriend and a child with her. Married enough for me. Leroy has always liked me since I started two years ago. He has also always had a girlfriend. I never paid much attention to Leroy, but we are sort of platonic work friends. The other day Leroy comes into the office. He just kind of stands there. So I ask him if I can help him with anything. Leroy says I know what he wants. I laugh at him and tell him it'll never happen. Then I remind him that he's married and kick him out of the office.

Creepy-Old Guy

I was training for a new position with the creeper, Chris. His real name is Gay. That doesn't have anything to do with anything, except that his name is gross. Anyway, Chris has this weird way of just staring at me without saying anything. I wasn't super creeped out by Chris until the white tee shirt comment. Here's the story.

All of the girls in the office had just bought these company shirts. They were white with pink collars and sleeves. I said something to Chris about them. He told me the only thing I needed was to step into the shower. Shudder! I now avoid Chris at every, every chance possible!

I'm sure there are more stories... I just can't remember them now. If they are good enough, I will post them too. I'm sure they're be more. Just don't let my dad read this!


laneyandjacksmom said...

Wow- I learned a lot from reading this! Although some of them are truly hilarious, it does make me a little nervous!

gorrión said...

Well, you know where we work! Maybe I should have chenged names to protect the guilty!

D'Mama said...

When I read this it makes me and Dad want to come with our shotguns and give these yahoos a lesson in manners. Sheese! I feel sorry for you singles gals having to put up with such crap at work. Where are all the nice Christian guys these days?

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