Wednesday, December 9, 2009


This morning I stepped through the pristine gates doors of Meadow Valley Orthodontics, received my paperwork to fill out from one of 7 smiling, brown scrub-wearing employees, sat my booty into a leather couch facing a mounted, inset 32-inch widescreen LED tv, surrounded by a beautiful shelving unit filled with wicker baskets which were, in turn, filled with toys and books and I thought to myself, "Self, you cannot afford this orthodontist." (I realize--run-on sentence. Thank you Miss Tweed. Third grade wouldn't have been the same without you.)

As I filled out the paperwork I mused about an orthodontist that I could afford. He would surely operate out of the bottom level of his home. It'd be kind of like a mullet--you know, business in the front, party in the back. Except that by "front" I mean lower level and "back" I mean upper level apartment. Then an even more affordable orthodontics rig ran through my mind, quite literally. It'd be a "mobiledontics." Kind of like a bookmobile, you know... or even a trailer. I'm picturing something kind of like a horse trailer or a small refrigerated unit, only without the cold. It'd be one of those silver metal jobs with a roll-up sliding door at the back. They'd let down a ramp and you'd haul yourself right into the "consulting office" separated from the "reception area" and "business office" by only a divider meant for a cubicle. I could afford that kind of orthodontics.

You'd think Meadow Valley wanted me to promise them 5 years of indentured labor or the birthrights of my first son.

Well, I haven't lost hope yet. I'm getting a second opinion. Heck, I'll even get a third or fourth one if I have to! Things can't be all that bad. As a matter of fact, I've heard good things about this place called Odontologia Guadalupe de la Virgen de las Nieves. They say they only charge 140 pesos per visit, so I think I'm in luck!

1 comment:

MaeRae said...

Let's start off by asking you this...why do you need orthodontic work? Your teeth in the picture look great. Okay second of all...mexican orthodontists are the BEST! Go that way, for sure! (read last sentence with extreme sarcasm)

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