Tuesday, August 4, 2009

totally awkward tuesday

Grrr... Frustration. I just wrote about half of this post when I somehow highlighted the entire thing and erased it all. I was left with only an "n" to show for all the writing I had just done. I am currently very abnoyed (v. combo of the words abnoxious and annoyed, meaning to be annoyed greatly by something obnoxious).

Well, what I was saying is that my TAT actually happened today. I was thinking as the actual even was taking place that I really should blog about this for Totatally Awkward Tuesday. And then I ran, literally. But that's getting ahead of the story.

See, I had the day off of work today so my friend, Former Roomie, and I decided to go out. I drove to the cities (aka Twin Cities or Minneapolis/St. Paul) and met her in this nifty little neighborhood called Dinkytown. We went to this totally awesome restaurant, ate great food, caught up on eachother's lives, reverted to our goofy college roomie selves, got our leftovers to go, and set off to roam the streets.

Now as soon as we got out of the restaurant, Former Roomie and I realized that we both had to pee. Bad. FR got gum stuck on her purse by some jerk who left it sitting there, so she took the cloth napkin that was at her place setting to clean it off. As we were walking around the side of the building, I said to her, "I can't believe you stole their napkin to clean the gum off your purse."

"Oh well." she replied, "I gave that waiter a great tip, so it pretty much covers the cost of the napkin."

No sooner had she said that, but our waiter came out the back door. "Thanks." he called after us. And she really did give him a great tip, so I'm sure he was flabbergasted, but I'm also sure he heard our comments about the napkin stealing.

We couldn't go back to the restaurant to pee.

We wandered around. FR suggested we go to Subway. I suggested the Blockbuster. It was closer. She thought it would be too obvious. So we walked all the way to the building where Subway was. It was a building containing several different stores, only one of which was Subway. That was nice, because the restrooms were located in the hallway. That was not nice because the restrooms were locked and required that you ask for a key. FR didn't want to ask for the key. Neither did I. I knew we should have gone to Blockbuster.

We exited the Subway building.

There was a McDonald's right next to it, so we entered. It was very obvious that we were only using the restroom and not buying anything, but we didn't care. I especially had to pee by now. Forget about obviousness.

Thank God for two stalls in the restroom. As women always do, FR and I were talking from one stall to the other. I was about to make a comment about her stealing habit, when I first asked if we were the only ones in the room.

"I don't know. " said FR.

"No, you're not." came a voice from the sink/waiting line area.

FR was already done and hand-washing before I got out and so she left me with the mysterious bathroom lady still there. Let me tell you MBL was quite the Chatty Cathy.When I was flushing, she was talking. When I got out of the stall to wash my hands and she was saying something. As I turned on the water she kept talking. I wondered if she was talking to herself or to me. I threw a glance in the direction of her stall. I could see her pants bunched up all over the floor and her big ol' belt weighing the pile down. Gross. Who lets their clothes go on the nasty McD's bathroom floor?

She seemed to be talking about her kids. Something about them going to college. I didn't know what to do. She had been yammering on for a solid 2 minutes and I hadn't said anything. So, I replied. I think I asked if they were in college.

Then I hit the button on the air hand dryer. She continued talking. For the entire time the dryer was running. I didn't hear a single word she said, only the constant droan of her voice. By this time was I feeling really awkward and hoping that she wouldn't come out soon. Come to think of it, she had been in there a really long time. I wonder if she was chatting up a complete stranger while taking a poo in the Mickey Dee's b-room? Who does that?

The dryer finally stopped running. "...of my three girls one graduated from college. And it looks like only one of my two boys will graduate, but you do what you can..." She was still going strong.

"Well, I guess that's better than none." I said. Then I made a hasty exit! "FR! Let's go!" I fairly flew past the table where she was sitting.

"What? Why are you running?"

"That lady was talking my ear off. I don't want her to come out and see me and keep going. She was still talking when I left. Let's get out of here." We left McDonald's and pretty fast. Well, as fast as we could go in our 3-inch heels.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure none of that awkwardness would have happened if we had peed in Blockbuster restrooms.

Check out Tova's awkward moment of the week at Secret Life of Tova Darling. Until next time!


Raine said...

why would she think just because you and FR were talking meant that you wanted to talk to her? Totally weird. I wouldve run too!

Ebony Haywood said...

when i was a kid, my school bus driver would always accuse us chatty kids of having "diarrhea of the mouth." sounds like this women was suffering from the same ailment.

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