holiday discrimination

Have you ever noticed that every holiday can have its moment in the sun, except for Christmas? I say this because I just checked out the peeps website. Why is the Christmas peep known just as "holiday?" That is the biggest load of BS I have ever heard! Easter, Valentine's Day, and Halloween are all allowed their proper names. But Christmas is simply called "holiday." Are they not all freaking holidays? What is Peeps so afraid of? Are they Christmas haters? Do they not believe in Jesus or Santa Clause? Is Christmas "the one of whom we do not speak" or something? The least they could do is call it "winter" or "season of joy" or something equally puke-inducing, yet descriptive. Sigh. I'm so sick of political correctness! I realize the point of being politically correct is not to offend any one, but did anybody ever consider that people might be offended by completely ignoring something that is important to them?

catching up

This is, once again, a lunch time post. I feel like I don't have time to catch up on everything that I want to write. But I also really want to write something. I think I'll post some good old time memories in the days (day) before the New Year.

Here's a great one. I must have been about 5 or 6. We went to a church activity, probably a Christmas or New Years party. I remember getting ready to go and not being able to find my rainbow-striped, stretchy elastic, magnetic clasped belt. But I really needed it. My pants were falling down. So, being my father's daughter, and having been trained in the ways of "making do," I grabbed a length of twine and tied those pants up nice and tight.

Well, the church party got along and I'm sure we had a part where everybody was together, doing family activities. But my memory for the day comes from later that night. I was playing with my friends, running all over the place. I'm sure I'd had a lot of soda or something, probably the reason I was running with the friends. Then, all of a sudden, it hit me. I had to go PEE! I ran to the bathroom, forced my way in the door (it was very hard to get open, as I remember), rushed into the stall, and... I couldn't get the twine undone. I tried. I crossed my legs. I struggled. I did the pee dance. I fought with the twine. I fought the urge... I lost.

Yes, I had an accident right there in the bathroom right in front of my blessed salvation-the toilet. And all because I was unable to untie the makeshift twine belt. As I recall, I had to wear my snowpants the rest of the night.

santa gave me an early present--a big tire around my waist!!

I'm about to make a conclusive statement, so brace yourselves. I will, undoubtedly, be one of the cutest preggers ever. I'm sure a baby bump will be quite becoming on me... BUT until then, this bloated lump of holiday cheer that is forming in my abdominal area has got to go! For reals, I want to eat everything-ham, turkey, pie, chocolate, flavored coffee, fried chicken (I don't know what that has to do with the holidays-hmmm maybe it's part of the Kwanzaa tradition).

Anyway, I don't think I'll be able to get rid of it exercising (see this post), or eating less. Really, who wants to to eat less at Thanksgiving or Christmas? So, basically I'm just saying that I want to be magically thinner without working at it at all. Can anybody tell me how to do that?

Actually I know several good ways.

1. Get sick. I got a bladder infection once and I let it go untreated. I was so tired that I slept for 16 hours in one day. I couldn't keep my eyes open, let alone eat. Getting sick is a great way to lose some weight. It's not very fun, though. Not to mention, nobody wants to be sick over the holidays.

2. Become really stressed. This is another great way to lose weight. A nice dose of stress will definitely keep your appetite down. Of course, stress is not exactly super fun either.

3. Fall in love. When I'm in love, I don't really eat. My appetite disappears. My tummy is already full... of butterflies! :D Laa la-laa la-laa! Who needs food?! Now, of the three choices, this may be the best... but at the same time the worst! I've been in love before, and it still hurts! It's been over a year, but as you can see from my tweets --> sometimes it still hurts. I'm not sure I want to be in love again, because I'm not sure there's hope for a truly happy love. I know some couples who seem to be happy, but I really don't believe it. They have to fight when nobody's watching. Life can't be as good as it looks on the outside.

So, maybe I'll just keep that little tummy there.