that's it! I'm outa' here!

No, for realsies! I'm leavin'... you know, like, on a jet plane. I wish I could say that I won't be back again, but that's just not true. I am, however, going on vacation, starting tomorrow morning. :D And my wonderful location of destination?

Drumroll please... DUM DA DUM!!!

PUERTO RICO!!!

Yeah, so I am pretty much really excited. So much for my milestone posts, though. Although, Puerto Rico is a milestone, kind of. I made my first trip there 2 years ago for my friend, Boricua's wedding. Now I'm going to see the baby and I can't wait! These are both milestones in her life. And that's good enough for me.

So, what should I bring ya? So far I have had requests for a Harley Davidson tee shirt, a shot glass, and a sun tanned girl. Yes, you heard that last one right. But that's just what I would expect from Hombre C.

***sidenote--I have all my mens listed in my phone under "Hombre" and then the first letter of their name. Hee hee hee... I couldn't really think of a better way to do it, and besides, then they are all right next to each other and oh so easy to find. Besides, it kinda makes me feel mysterious. Is that weird? I couldn't figure out if that was weird or not... Some people give me weird looks when they see my number directory.-- end of sidenote***

Maybe I should have a give-away. Your odds would be good seeing as only Mae Rae, Alix, and sometimes Raine ever read my blog. Just kidding. I know I have more readers (luv you Mom!) READERS, I KNOW YOU ARE OUT THERE AND I LOVE YOU, TOO! (So that ended up sounding slightly more stalkerish/creepy than I intended it to.)

Anyway, I will be sure to post pics of my lovely destination. I can't wait to finally get out of Minnesota. This is the worst time of year in the mid-west. On Tuesday I woke up to -22 degrees! I am so ready to sit my flabby, pastey, white Irish booty down on the beach and reflect some rays of sun! I really need some r&r after today anyway. It was SOOO long, and I had to do 4 terminations and try to translate, edit and configure as much of the newsletter as I could plus do everything else that I needed to do. Then just when I thought I was home free, I couldn't find my keys. So I trudged back up the 50 stairs and searched the office, but still couldn't find them. Then I figured they must be in my car, which they were, locked inside, of course. Then I proceeded to wait 1 hour and 20 minutes until the tow truck came and unlocked me. At least I have AAA! (that's my second plug for them! Go Triple A!!!) Now I'm finally home and I should be packing and getting everything ready, but instead I am wrapped in a blanket, lost in a facebooky/bloggy world of my own creation. And b.t.dubs, I wrote on Mr. Maybe's wall yesterday, but he doesn't seem to fb much, so he hasn't responded :(

So I'ma get off my seat and do something now. I'll see ya next time from (hopefully) sunny Puerto Rico!

mr. maybe not... maybe

Well, I know this doesn't have to do, necessarily, with my countdown to 100 posts. But it's happening right now, so what makes it part of my countdown. And, you know, it could become a milestone. Oh, and it's a bummer that I keep missing Tuesdays. Well, not literally missing them, but you know... I keep forgetting about them. Sorry sticky notes... Sorry friends who liked my stikies.

Well, you all remember Mr. Maybe. I had actually given up hope on him, when he went to my friend's Cookie Baking Extravaganza. I wasn't able to go because I had to work that day, sadly. Also I didn't even think he was going to be there. Anyway, my friend's hubby told me, "You should've come to bake cookies. Mr. Maybe was here."

To which I responded, "I'm sorry. I would have loved to have come, but I had to work. Besides, Mr. Maybe is not interested. He has never called."

Then he replied, "Oh yes he does. Every other thing he said was about you. He was actually mad at my wife for not introducing you two sooner."

So now I don't know what to think. He texted me on Christmas Eve. I texted him on New Years, but I didn't think he responded. So I facebooked him and he said that he had in fact replied to my texts. Sigh. Sometimes my phone doesn't work. So I felt like a loser. I facebooked him back, but he hasn't replied yet. Ugh... I don't know about all this. My roomies tell me that I should just let him know that I'm interested in him. But I'm scared because... well, I'm just scared.

What are your opinions dear bloggy friends? Oh, and I should mention that he just moved back to Miami to finish school. he'll be back to Minnesota for the summer, though (and I wouldn't mind relocating. As a matter of fact, I've been looking for any reason to leave this frozen wasteland since I was 7.) Your advices please!

sticky note tuesday

Well, these are super late, but I was sick yesterday. I actually called in sick for the first time since March of 08. It was bad. But here are my stickies anyway.

dreams of flying

Well, so far nothing has happened. I facebooked him last week and we had a short convo going on, but then it just dropped off and he never responded. That was last Wednesday. And like they say on He's Just Not That Into You, if he likes you, he will make it happen. The rest is up to you (the girl). And although, at first, he said he wanted to spend more time with me (seemed like he was interested) he hasn't really shown any interest lately, so I guess I'll just let it go.

My mom keeps saying that "at least this is encouraging for me." But I'm not really sure that I'm encouraged. In a way, I'm kind of relieved that he doesn't seem to be interested, because I'm so afraid to get into another relationship. On the other hand, I'm really sad about still being single. I want so much to have somebody who loves me, wants to be with me, thinks I'm beautiful, and wants to have a family with me. I can't even imagine that ever being true. It's almost like dreaming of flying.

So I don't really know what else to say. At least he looked my way for a moment, but I'm not sure I'm encouraged by that. I saw the Ex today and my eyes danced when they met his because, in my heart, I was laughing at him. I'm free. I'm the lucky one. And that is encouraging to me!

b.t.dubs

BTW-I messaged Mr. Maybe and told him that he should hang out with us and play games this weekend. Unfortunately he's out of town, but here is his response: "Thanks for inviting me to play games. I would like to meet your parents but I’m not going to be here."

You think he likes me? I can't believe he wants to meet my parents! What does that mean?

date update

Ok, so I know I need to let you all know about the date. Now I know it has taken me a few days to get this on to paper the computer. Don't worry. It's not because the date was bad. I really like him. It's just that my sister-in-law already grilled me about it, then I told my mom, then I told my roomies, then the girls at work. Oh, and not to mention, I haven't really don't this dating thing, well, ever before. I guess with my ex's it was more like... well... not dating, that's for sure. With Alex, we started off as friends and it progressed form there. With Carlos, we started off acquaintances and then... I don't want to talk about the rest. Let's just be glad that's in the past! Hallelujah!

Anyway, now the pretty much most handsome, smartest, most talented man I will ever know, is interested in me! Can you believe it? I never dreamed anybody like that would even give me a second look. :D So here's the lowdown on the first date:

He came to pick me up at my brother's house. When he came in, my bro, being the nice guy that he is, started up a conversation. For about 5 minutes, they jabbered on in a language I didn't understand--computer. Lol. He's an electrical engineer, well, studying to be one. Actually, he's doing a coop right now with a computer company here in the area, so he is really doing the work. Anyway, the SIL and I had no idea what was being said, but at least they have something in common.

Then we went out to the restaurant. He made me choose where to go, and I guess I'm really not that good at picking restaurants, but it is the best Chinese place in town. So we went there ordered our food. We just had a good time talking and getting to know each other. I won't cover every topic that we talked about, but he did tell me something about his family and his job and everything that you talk about on a first date.

But the most interesting part was something he told me about a test he had to take the next day. Even as he spoke the words, I could not believe my ears. He said he was taking his test for the ham radio license. And I quote my sentiment exactly, as spoken in the words of Nacho Libre, "Those are my favorite things to do, too, every day of the week!" Well, just kidding about that, part, but it was truly amazing. That's because my dad is a huge fan of ham radio. My dad, mom, and older brother actually all have their ham radio licenses. I took the test, too, but failed. Mostly because I attempted such a feat at the tender age of nine. I don't think my dad had really thought that one through...

Anyway, I don't see how this guy could get any better. Right off the bat he has something in common with my brother and my father. And those are the two people (besides me, of course) who needed to be impressed the most.

Well, it is now ridiculously late and I need to get up early for church tomorrow. I'm so going to regret staying up this late later, I just know it. BUT there's more in the (insert clever nickname for dreamy man here) saga. We actually went out tonight, too. More on that later.

BTW... I need help coming up with a clever name for the dreamy man... Any suggestions? I thought of Knight in Shining Armor-KISA, but it's too soon to call him the man of my dreams. I don't even know him that well yet. So-suggestions! Please!

OMG...

So guess what? I have a...

date tomorrow... Yes, I am whispering again. I know, it's hard to hear me, but I don't want to break the spell!

Ok, you can change your browser font back to a normal size. I've stopped whispering. But don't worry. I'll let you know how everything went.

And on another note all together...

Happy Veteran's Day to all! God bless all those who have served, are serving, and will serve--Grandpa (I'll never forget you and I'll always love you, even though you're gone), Uncle D, Baby Brother (you're the best, very strong, and they'll make you even stronger), Cuz, Natty and Hubby (baby girl, I'm praying for you while they kick your butt out there at basic!). I love you all.

moving on... and UP

For all of you who read my Sticky Note Tuesday post and the stickies to my ex, here is an update. Funny how all this time I was hating on my ex and glaring at him and ignoring him etc, he continued to stop by the HR office and talk to his good ol' friend, Drama Queen. For months he has come to the office one, if not two, times a day. I know he can't really be that interested in Drama Queen. And I know him well enough to know that he is an attention junkie. It doesn't matter if I'm glaring at him, sending him Morse Code hate messages with my eyelashes; he just wants my attention--and preferably my affection. But you know, he'll take that or leave it. Well, probably not so much anymore, but he's a creep like that. I don't think it matters that he's married now. As I've come to see, he's not the most faithful person in the world. And in the end, he just wants me to keep thinking about him.

Well, it really ticked me off that on my birthday he, as usual, came into the office, looked directly at all the "happy birthday" balloons on my desk, and just walked right past me. He never said a word. So I decided a long time ago that when his birthday rolled around, I was going to be different. I would make a special effort to wish him a happy day.

As soon as I walked in in the morning, he was already there. "Happy birthday!" I said with a friendly smile on my face. He thanked me and left.

But that's not all. He came back on his lunch break. As he walked out to leave I stopped him, again saying "Happy birthday. You're really old now," I joked. He seemed uncomfortable, like he didn't want to talk to me. But at least he said thanks and left.

And here's the good great news... (drumroll please) I haven't seen him since Monday! He hasn't been back in to the office since the day of his birthday. Now perhaps he and DQ are fighting or something, but I don't think so. I think I finally got to him. As one of my friends put it, "he sees now that you don't care anymore. You're ok with everything and you're moving on."

And it's true.

I'm moving on. Because... Shhhhh now... I met a guy. I know, I'm whispering. That's because I don't want to break the spell. Nothing has happened yet, but he did say that he would like to spend more time with me.

I'm afraid to say anymore. Besides, nothing has really happened. There's no news to tell. Hopefully there will be. I'm not sure I'm ready for any of this and I'm really scared to death of relationships, but you never know. This could be the one that changes everything. I'm just not sure I'm ready to put myself out there again. It could be one more tragedy... Or it could be the best thing ever. Gulp.

Well, this post reminded me of a poem I wrote a long time ago, back in 2007 during my senior year of college. I think it deserves to be re-posted, so here goes.

closer to nothing

every day i come closer to finding

i know less and less every day

every step i take takes me farther

from where i thought i wanted to be

and when i stand and look in the mirror

i see a face whose dull eyes i don't recognize

and then i walk away

every day it gets harder to step out on a limb

to put myself up for scrutinization

i just want to walk away

and go back to the places where i have been

and if i thought this was hard before

i didn't know what it would be

to stand empty-handed at the door

and to have no one answer me