what was i thinking!?

Have you ever had one of those moments when the words "OMG, what was I thinking!?" just lit up in bright, neon letters inside your head? For instance, let's just say you are out driving one day. The roads are a little slick. You're at a stoplight making a right hand turn. There's a car coming, but it's still pretty far. You decide to gun it and pull out even though you know you should probably just hang back and wait until it's completely all clear. As soon as you pull out, you realize that you can't build up enough speed to get out of his way. You hit the gas, but that just makes your car fishtail, out of control. As the whole thing starts to whip around and you're not sure whether you're going into oncoming traffic or whether you'll end up in the ditch, you see that neon sign: "What was I thinking!?"

And that's just one example. See, it happens to me all the time... But it can be different for everybody. Could be you went home with a stranger you just met or got a giant tattoo covering your whole left shoulder. Perhaps you pierced your tongue on a whim or you decided to go sky diving. You could have taken a 12 hour road trip for just the weekend, knowing that you have to work on Monday. Possibly you tried out for American Idol when, deep down, you know you can't really sing!

Ok, just in case you are getting any ideas that I have done all of those things... well, I'm not going to tell. It's more interesting if I keep you guessing. :-) Now tell me! What have you done that made you say, "What was I thinking!?"

hola!

Hola, from sunny rainy Puerto Rico! The temperature here is beautiful! My friend's baby is beautiful (that's an actual picture I took of her cute little feet); she herself is beautiful. I can't really say her husband is beautiful. It just sounds awkward and wrong. He's cool, though! :D

Well, I'm sorry now that my countdown to 100 was supposed to be milestones. I chose an awful time to supposedly write about milestones, because I haven't really written about any. And, actually, by "milestone" I just really meant "memory that sticks out in my mind." Now I don't even want to write about that for my 99th post. I just want to write about Puerto Rico!

So it rained today and yesterday, but I don't really care, because it's enough to just have the windows open and to wear sandals. I only hope that there will be time to go to the beach and get, at least, a little sun. I can't go back to Minnesota completely white, like I am now.

So this is completely off the subject, but it's in my mind right now, so I want to write about it. I have this friend who always seems to be one step behind me in every bad decision that I make. If I date a schmuck one year, she dates one the next. If I let my faith go cold and make bad decisions (aka getting drunk, hanging out in questionable places with questionable people), she

later does the same. It's not that she is following my example. She lives half-way around the world. But she does always seem to make the same bad choices. I wish I could save her from all the pain I experienced as a result of my bad decisions. I don't want her to spend a year picking up all the pieces like I have. I don't want her to live under constant guilt of decisions past. I don't want her to fight temptations she never had before.

But what can I do? Really, apart from telling her not to do what I've done, there's nothing I can do. She has to make that choice on her own. She has to decide what she wants for her own life and follow that path.

Before I dated (and loved) a guy who didn't share my faith, morals, or even treat me well, I didn't know what I really wanted in a man. Before I got drunk, I never knew how awful it was to wake up with a hangover. Before I gave myself away, I never knew what pain it was to be cheated on or used. I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't know what I didn't want.

What I'm trying to say is that maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Granted, it would have been better to just follow the guidebook (yes, reference to the Bible) and not make the mistake in the first place. But now I really know. I am a stronger person for failing and hurting and breaking. I made the choices that shattered my heart, but God is the one who put the pieces back together afterward. So while I can't say that I'm not better off now, I can say that I would recommend not doing what I did (do, will do). Ugh. That's the problem with being human. You will always make mistakes.

So what do I do about my friend? She knows what is right and wrong. And besides, how am I supposed to tell her something about things that I have done myself? I know I will continue to make mistakes in my future, and I do even now. I'm not perfect, for goodness sake!

Well, post #99 did cover some milestones--aka memories that stand out in my mind. Anyway, Puerto Rico is great and I never want to leave! I love you readers! Leave me a comment with your advice about my friend.

Happy New Year

Usually I don't drink, but I'm not going to lie. I'm a little bit tipsy right now. It's New Years, I was at a party (it was a calm one, don't worry), there was alcohol... so I had some. But I'm not actually drunk. Although you will reap the benefits. ...probably. I tend to be hilarious when I'm buzzed, but this could be a dud.

Anyway, since I need to write about milestones in these posts, and since it's New Years and I'm tipsy, I think I should write about the last time I went to a party and had some beverages.

It was Halloween 2008. I was a Pink Lady from Grease, Frenchie to be exact. I had a pink wig on, 3 inch spike heels, and leggings. I'm not going to lie. I was quite popular at work that day. Anyway, I went to a party after work. But let me warn you, party punches should be tried with caution. Seriously, I'm not a big drinker. I've been drunk a few times, but I wasn't impressed. There are a lot of reasons that I think it's not a good idea to get drunk, but maybe those will be the subject of another post.

Anyway, not having drank very often and not knowing much about party punches, I poured myself plenty (for my alcohol tolerance level. I'm what some people would call a lightweight, others would say cheap date. I try to stay away from them.) I drank the punch, I had some more, I drank another bottle of something. Yeah, I was feeling it. Nobody knows it, but at one time I actually took a break from the karoke machine to go to the bathroom. Once there I flopped onto the ground and rolled around laughing for about 5 minutes, if not more. Yeah, I think I had a little too much to drink.

Also, at one time that night, I was sitting next to some guy on the couch making pleasant conversation. I was trying to hold it together, but feeling pretty loopy. We started talking about our places of work. I told him where I am an administrative assistant and he let me know that he worked at Sam's Club (kind of like Costco for those who don't live in the midwest). When he heard where I worked, he told me that Sam's had done a membership drive at my company and that he was the head of it... or something like that. I'm pretty sure he also offered me a job, if I was ever thinking about moving. The funny part is--Sam's Club is running another membership drive on Wednesday. I'm going to try to avoid the rep. I'm afraid it will be the man I spoke to 2 Halloweens ago. I'm really not sure what I said to him, so yeah...

Anyway, this post is not up to my usual level of... er... ummmm... I don't know. Like I said, I'm a lil bit tipsy (of course, hiccuping while I'm rinsing with mouthwash is enough to make me tipsy) so this post really needs to end. Please excuse any spelling or gramatical errors. And...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

working my way to 100

I have recently noticed that I am nearing my 100th post. In honor of the 100, I'm going to be doing a series of posts about other milestones in my life (just so you know, milestone has quite a broad definition in my book:). I will be counting down (or is it up?) to number one-double-oh.

But first, let me share a little about my wonderful Christmas.

I was supposed to leave after a half day of work on Thursday and make the 5 hour trek up to my parent's house. Unfortunately it didn't look like the weather was going to cooperate. Unprecedented amounts of snow were predicted and I was feeling bummed about possibly getting stuck in my apartment for the holiday.

Fortunately for me, my coworkers decided that wasn't going to happen. They fairly ganged up on me on Wednesday and insisted I was leaving by noon that day, as bad weather was supposed to be starting between 1 and 6. My boss even offered to let me use a vacation day. (I declined, since I will be needing that day in February when my *sister* from Peru comes to visit.) However, she did give me permission, so I didn't even lose my Christmas holiday pay! What a nice boss. As the morning progressed, so did the snow. It was already beginning to look bad out by 10:30 and the verdict was in. They sent me packing and headed toward my family.

I arrived safe and sound at home early that evening. I have never had so much time off for Christmas before, since I took one vacation day for Monday. As a matter of fact, I wasn't even able to go home the last two years at the holiday because of work. It was so nice and relaxing. I didn't wear makeup almost the whole time I was there, I stayed up 'til ungodly hours of the night and woke up at even less spiritual hours in the morning, I wore sweats until afternoon, ate 'til my pants didn't fit, and I had a great time with my family.

I also got some great loot: another wii remote, some furry slippers, a super soft blanket, a wool hat, a pretty heart necklace from Baby Brother, and a lot of stocking stuffers. All in all, it was one of our best Christmases. I think the holiday should always fall on a weekend! Can that be arranged?

Well, I can't talk about Christmas without mentioning the real meaning of the season--the birth of Christ. As I drove, I was thinking of a whole post I could do about this subject. There's so much that fascinates me about the events surrounding the incarnation of Christ that I can't even express all of them. Like, why did God choose one of the most scandalous ways imaginable to bring his son into the world? Even now, unwed pregnancies are frowned upon, but in those days, people were executed for them. Obviously we were let in on the secret, but imagine the stigma Mary must have felt only to be the chosen of God, the one who would bear his son into the human world.

Really, I could do a series of posts on this subject alone. There's so much to think about, and so much to be thankful for. And it's not that my Christianity is a crutch for me. On the contrary, it's a wheelchair, a veritable gurney! I don't say this simply because there are a list of rules that I practice or a bit or rhetoric that I spew. Even I have willingly strayed from my faith. I have broken every commandment, whether in practice or in attitude, and done so of my own will. But at the same time, I have seen him, I have experienced the one of whom the Bible speaks. When I left him, he never let me go. Maybe at one time in my life my faith was rhetoric and rules, but now it is much more. I'm not perfect. I don't have even half of everything figured out, but I am learning.

I don't know how to explain this. If you haven't experienced what I talk about, it may seem so weird and foreign. I can only imagine. But I hope that, in some small way, you are jealous. It sounds bad, but I wish that everyone could have what I have. And notice that I don't say "feel what I feel." Now happy feelings come along for the ride, but they are not the gas that powers the engine. There are bad times, too, as I'm sure you know if you have read any of my posts!

Well, this post is way too long so tomorrow I will continue working my way to 100 posts. Hang in there with me and help me visit some milestones from this first quarter of a century know as... my life.

catching up

This is, once again, a lunch time post. I feel like I don't have time to catch up on everything that I want to write. But I also really want to write something. I think I'll post some good old time memories in the days (day) before the New Year.

Here's a great one. I must have been about 5 or 6. We went to a church activity, probably a Christmas or New Years party. I remember getting ready to go and not being able to find my rainbow-striped, stretchy elastic, magnetic clasped belt. But I really needed it. My pants were falling down. So, being my father's daughter, and having been trained in the ways of "making do," I grabbed a length of twine and tied those pants up nice and tight.

Well, the church party got along and I'm sure we had a part where everybody was together, doing family activities. But my memory for the day comes from later that night. I was playing with my friends, running all over the place. I'm sure I'd had a lot of soda or something, probably the reason I was running with the friends. Then, all of a sudden, it hit me. I had to go PEE! I ran to the bathroom, forced my way in the door (it was very hard to get open, as I remember), rushed into the stall, and... I couldn't get the twine undone. I tried. I crossed my legs. I struggled. I did the pee dance. I fought with the twine. I fought the urge... I lost.

Yes, I had an accident right there in the bathroom right in front of my blessed salvation-the toilet. And all because I was unable to untie the makeshift twine belt. As I recall, I had to wear my snowpants the rest of the night.

the way things have changed...

I glanced at myself in the mirror today as I washed my hands. "Wow, my hair is growing. You can already see a line where my natural hair color is showing. When did I dye my hair anyway?"

I tried to think, but I couldn't remember any cues. Then it hit me. I put it as my facebook status. "I can't believe I just dyed my hair."

Then another, almost stunning though hit me. When did we start measuring time in facebook? When did I become so lazy as to stop thinking in calendars and days, hours and moments? When did I have to look up my life as recorded in real time on twitter, facebook, even this blog. When did my memory forget how to remember?

I remember when...

...car flirting was still innocent. You know, you catch a cute stranger's eye. You pass him. He speeds up and smiles at you. You flutter your eyelids and grin. He passes you. This process usually continues until one party veers off the common road.

That is how car flirting should go. Last weekend I had an experience with an awful new form of car flirting. Here's how it went:

Pretty Roomy and I were driving home after the movie we went to with Mr. Maybe (I can't call him Mr. Right. I'm not sure yet and I don't know him well enough). Anyway, we were driving home on the highway. I turned to see an SUV with a younger guy driving it. He noticed me, but I didn't pay any attention. I was deep into a convo with PR. I turned again to see Young Guy staring at me like a dork. I did the giant cheesy smile and childish wave. Then I ignored him again. I continued talking to PR... probably about Mr. M. Then I turned to see YG's friend, Stupid Guy, who I hadn't even noticed, hold up a hastily made paper sign reading "SHOW BOOBS."

Whatever happened to innocent car flirting? When did we ever go straight from cheesy grin to frontal nudity? What is this world coming to?

mmm-mmm-memories!

gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that kit-kat bar!

lick, lick, crack! how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?

hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. special orders don't upset us. all we ask is that you let us serve it your way!

can you tell me how to get, how to get to sesame street?

pound puppies

skip-it

just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go dooown, the medicine go down...

care bears

strawberry shortcake

teenage mutant ninja turtles

I'm sitting here smiling because these are all good memories for me. Things I remember from childhood... there are more, like the Wizard of Oz and Little Mermaid. :D

Share your favorite childhood toys and programs with pictures then let me know you posted it on your blog and we can all reminisce together.

Oh, and in some completely unrelated news, can anybody tell me how to get one of those thingers (RSS feed reader or something like that) so that I don't have to go around clicking on everybody's links in order to see their pages? THANKS!!