moody mcmoodster

The jury's not out on this one--I'm moody today. I'm not really sure why either (unless it has something to do with those three letters P, M, and S). It could be the afore-mentioned or it could be the gloomy weather or it could just be the fact that I have to work until 7 when my mom's surprise birthday party starts at 7. Maybe it's all of the above. Anyway, I'm moody, I'm gloomy, I'm a regular ole' Eeyore today. Maybe I'm even an Oscar the Grouch... And to be more gloomy, I'm not sure anybody even reads this anyway. It's been so long since I was in the loop with my blog and my blogging buddies, I hardly create any traffic for them and hardly get any back. It also doesn't help that most of my blogging buddies have done the exact thing I did--burn out on blogging. For some reason or another, blogging just got to be too much. My creativity was drained and I was left without an interesting thing to say, besides me griping, which, as you can clearly see right now, is not all that interesting.

It's not that I don't have anything to say; it's just that sometimes what's in my heart and mind isn't really all that interesting. Or worse, it isn't something I'm ready to spill... Maybe that doesn't sound like a bad thing, but it is for me. See, writing is my outlet. Without it, I get all bottled up inside. It's just that, I'm not ready to face my fears, insecurities, faults etc and slap 'em out in print. But you have to admit, that's a pretty bold thing for anybody to do. It's not easy to put yourself out there like that. Maybe that's why I don't have a man...

Anyway... I just thought I'd drop a grouchy bomb on ya'lls (if you're even there) and I'll tack on a big "sorry-for-not-visiting-any-other-blogs" on to that as well. haha. I hope your day is better than mine.

i've seen better days

I woke up yesterday morning ready to go to my dentist appointment where I would get 3 fillings in an appointment that would take 1 1/2 hours. Not only that, but I woke up with a quite swollen right eyelid. Apparently I have a stye. I hate that word. It sounds so gross. Now today the eye is even more swollen and I can't wear makeup and the dentist scratched my face and pinched my lip yesterday, so I am a mess! Also, I ended up staying in the town where my work is last night because the roads are all icy. It's been freezing raining all day and I might get stuck here again. Staying with friends is nice, but it's not like home, where you can get up nice and easy, do your hair and makeup, etc. Nope. This morning I barely blow-dried my hair and I wore my glasses, not to mention my complete lack of makeup at the start of the day. Then when I got to work, I got in big trouble with my bosses. I can't elaborate, but it's not good.

So, succinctly, I feel and look like crap.

This brings me back to the dentist's chair yesterday. I love that laughing gas they give you to help with the anxiety and uncomfortable drilling and shots. I love how, with just one big breath, I no longer care that it hurts. Everything is still there, I still feel all that is happening, I just don't care. I wish I had laughing gas for my whole life. That way when things started to hurt, I could just take a whiff off the ol' laughing gas and feel all better. Everything in my surroundings would just become an echo, a distant mumble.

But I know the truth. Life doesn't work that way. In order to love and grow, you have to feel the pain. You have to work through the bad days and enjoy the good ones. Laughing gas may make life painless, but it also makes it joyless. No, I can't give in to the easy way out. I'll experience the sadness, love the happiness, and take each day one step at a time.

six word saturday

So it's 6ws again. Unfortunately I have pretty much only one thing on my mind right now... I guess I'll just go ahead and get it off my chest!

It hurts to know you lied.

and a freebee!

You get cut off. It happens!

The second one refers to me cutting a guy off today and him actually following me to a gas station, pulling up next to my car, pounding on my winding and cussing me out. I'm not going to lie. Of all the days in this whole year, I have only been so mad about 2 other times as I was today. Things just didn't go that well (please refer to first 6 words)... This implies that upon hearing said madman cuss me out for cutting him off, I flipped and answered in like manner.

As Pretty Roomie put it, "I lost my Christianity." (Not that either of us believe you can actually lose your Christianity. It's really a false implication on our part, but that's an issue for another post.) Anyway, the phrase simply means that I didn't at all act like a Christian should.

For that, I am sorry. But I'm not going to lie. After today and yesterday, it was a little stress relieving. It did kinda freak me out to have some old guy going postal on me though. There was a nice man at the gas station who told him to leave. When Psycho-Man started cussing at him, he just responded "Hey, I'm making sure a woman is ok." I like chivalry. It's classic. Never goes out of style. It was, however, updated my my sailor-like blue slur today. I'm sure that guy wasn't sure he was protecting a woman after he heard my speech...

Anyway, that's my 6ws, plus a little commentary. But on the bright side, I think my life's looking up from here. I'll make good decisions from now on. It's a hard lesson to learn, but you have to remember that very few people can be trusted.