It's been almost a year since I started my bloggy journey and a lot has changed. Jordan no longer lives next door. I miss his rooftop melodies that this blog was named for. I never had a chance to really talk to Jordan, but sometimes I dreamed of being his friend; of stretching out next to him on the roof adjacent to his apartment as he strummed softly on his guitar. I wish we had become friends. I think we would have had fun.

I don't cry very much now. Maybe I've moved on. Actually, I know I have. It hasn't been as much as I would have liked, but every step counts. I'm happy now. I have no complaints. I have many fears, but I know my life is good and I can't help but be thankful for the blessings I experience. Sometimes I even remind myself that it is possible to be thankful for the failures, too. See, I would never be who I am today were it not for my mistakes. Every misstep has impacted my life in such a way that I have to change. I have to see something new about myself every time I fall. I have learned that the world is not always good or kind, but this life is worth it.

I still struggle, don't get me wrong. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think, "Will I ever be in love? Is there somebody out there for me? Will I have the chance to have my own family?" It's all I've ever dreamed of, the only end I've ever strived for. I hope, but don't hold my breath. I know. That sounds over dramatic. Well, it might be, but there's no sense in holding out for something that may or may not happen. And heck, maybe my day will come, but it might not be for another 5 years. There's no need to live every day hoping for something that's still not on the horizon.

Now as my blog approaches it's first birthday I think of where I've been and how far I've come. Rooftop melodies will soon be moving from the window of my second story apartment to the window of my second floor room in a huge 5 bedroom house. Soon I'll stare out upon a yard full of grass and the sparse foliage that comes with a newer development. But the song won't change. So stay tuned. Spring is in full bloom and summer love is just around the corner. Oh, and I'll need you to help me celebrate rooftop melodies' first birthday.

the way things have changed...

I glanced at myself in the mirror today as I washed my hands. "Wow, my hair is growing. You can already see a line where my natural hair color is showing. When did I dye my hair anyway?"

I tried to think, but I couldn't remember any cues. Then it hit me. I put it as my facebook status. "I can't believe I just dyed my hair."

Then another, almost stunning though hit me. When did we start measuring time in facebook? When did I become so lazy as to stop thinking in calendars and days, hours and moments? When did I have to look up my life as recorded in real time on twitter, facebook, even this blog. When did my memory forget how to remember?